Chaos, Crocs & Caramel Apples: Confessions from the Van
- Morgane RGM
- Aug 5
- 8 min read
Updated: Aug 25
We’re not here to sugarcoat it. This trip is messy, sweaty, sometimes exhausting, but it’s ours. From bloodthirsty flies that ignore personal space to the ever-changing temperatures that have us switching from beanies to tank tops, life on the road hasn’t been glamorous. But somehow, between cramped van quarters, unexpected wildlife encounters, and questionable campsite choices, we’re making memories, real ones. So buckle up, I’m about to tell you how it really is.
Day 15 - Kakadu National Park to Darwin
Distance so far: 5653 km
Wildlife spotted: more wild horses and a dingo in the early morning
Highlight: Pool refreshment
This story? It’s real. It’s raw. And honestly, it’s starting to get the best of us.
By day, the flies swarm like they own the place. Zero respect for personal space. And as soon as evening falls, the bloodsuckers take over. We’re stuck choosing between retreating back into the van (again) or layering up like armor, even though these little vampires just breeze through it all.
Just a few weeks ago, we were freezing in three-degree weather. Now? It’s hitting 33 degrees in the desert. No refreshing drinks, no waterholes colder than the air around us. The van? It’s our tiny universe. Everyone’s closet, bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom squeezed into one cramped box. No space to breathe. No time to be alone. Honestly, I bet Mary Poppins’ bag is bigger than this van.
On the bright side, we keep ourselves sane with Cluedo and movie marathons. We’re schooling Andrew in all the teenage classics; Ella Enchanted, The Devil Wears Prada, Enchanted and many more to follow. Morgane finally gave in, and we watched Wicked together. Which means Andrew is now on the hook for The Wizard of Oz. like, how do you NOT know that one? Isn’t it just basic movie knowledge?
The Belgians are taking this responsibility seriously.
But here’s where things got tricky: our plans for Kakadu National Park fell apart because the van just couldn’t handle the dirt roads. So much for those iconic sights, we missed out. Lesson learned: 4WD is king. Still, wouldn’t trade Delilah for anything. She’s our stubborn little warrior.
So, Darwin it was. After hours of driving, sweating buckets, and no real showers, we hit the pool: pure salvation. Picture us, drenched and exhausted, trying to figure out our next move and what the heck to do with the van. Brain fog everywhere. No answers. Just us, trying to keep it together.
Day 16 - Darwin
Distance so far: 5764 km
Highlight: Our ADHD Golden Retriever finally found some peace... at yoga.
We really needed a day to just breathe and recharge all our batteries. So, we kicked things off with some yoga. And guess what? For the first time, Andrew; the ultimate bundle of energy, actually found some peace. A few quiet minutes of calm! Honestly, that might have been the best hour we’ve had in ages.
Of course, Morgane’s overthinking brain wasn’t exactly built for zen. She was bored out of her mind after 30 minutes. I mean, who does yoga for 90 minutes anyway?
Once the girls had some food in their bellies and Andrew got restless from doing nothing, we hit the town to explore the markets. We stumbled upon a stunning photographer’s work, eyed some potential souvenirs, and oh so many books we wish we could’ve packed along.
Next up: the botanical gardens. Then, lunch out (because let’s be real, not cooking for once makes food taste so much better).
Later, we headed to the lagoon, since the ocean’s off-limits thanks to saltwater crocs. We played volleyball, soaked up the sun, and wrapped up the day with a sunset stroll through the Mindil Beach markets.
The sunset was stunning, and just when we thought the day couldn’t get more random, a cowboy appeared. Turns out, he’s the world champion at whip-cracking. Yep, real fire and everything. Quite the show. And of course, the food choices at the market were endless (and absolutely delicious).
Day 17 - Darwin 2.0
Distance so far: 5869 km
Highlight: some beautiful princess like toes
It’s so hot here right now, Deborah’s nail polish is melting.
No need to panic. We hit the jackpot with an extra day to just chill. So, naturally, Deborah and I declared an emergency me-time session. Shoes off, feet in the water, and scrub—scrub—scrub.
After our impromptu foot-painting salon, we headed back to the lagoon to keep the relaxation train rolling. Because honestly? On a road trip like this, you can never relax enough.
We spread out our boho picnic blanket and sunk into the shade. Deborah had big plans to work on her tan, but let’s be real, we needed to escape the sun and dive into some refreshments. After sipping some delicious drinks and lounging on upgraded beach chairs (yes, luxury!), we made our way over to the volleyball court for a little beach volleyball action.
No worries, Coach, we’re keeping Deborah on track!
Day 18 - Litchfield national Park
Distance so far : 6,081 km
Wildlife spotted: Goanna and water dragon, salties and freshies (crocodiles), the biggest male measuring a whopping 5.8 meters - PARDON?! - black cockatoo, fire-tailed finch, and even a children’s python.
Highlight: Everything I mentioned above, DUH!
Up at 5:30 a.m. for our tour to Litchfield National Park, and honestly, it felt pretty nice to just be guests for a change. No stressing about the perfect schedule, no freaking out about what we’d eat next. We could just kick back and soak in the beauty. But first, there was a big bump we had to get over.
The infamous jumping crocodile tours. Yeah, the ones where they feed the crocs to get them to jump right out of the water. Not our thing at all. We don’t like supporting tours that mess with animals like that. The crocs knew exactly when the boat was coming. They’d swim straight up, waiting for their “snack.” At one point, the guide was even poking them to get a reaction. That made us seriously uncomfortable. Definitely not the peaceful nature experience we were hoping for.
Finding a tour without this jumping croc spectacle? Nearly impossible. So, with tiny hearts as fragile as urakanji jellyfish, we decided to bite the bullet. One time, and never again.
Meet “Brutus,” one of the most famous crocs on the Adelaide River. Estimated 5.5 meters long, and missing a leg, probably lost in a showdown with a shark, but still ruling the river like a boss. Rumour has it, a few years later he took his revenge on a bull shark.
Then there’s “Dominator,” reportedly the same size, maybe bigger and younger, who’s always trying to take Brutus’ crown. Locals say they clash sometimes, which sounds like nature’s own version of a soap opera.
Andrew could admire these beasts despite the dodgy start, but our two veggie girls? Not so much. The Gemini and Cancer ladies were definitely bummed by how those crocs were treated.
Thankfully, we shook it off pretty quick. On the bus to the national park, we pulled out a virtual chessboard and got serious. Watching the sisters dive into chess might actually be Andrew’s favorite part of the trip so far.
We explored two waterfalls and one waterhole, swimming in every single one. The waterfalls? Absolutely breathtaking. Side note: don’t expect peace and quiet behind a waterfall; water is loud, and so is the spray. Just a heads-up.
The day ended with a surprise: tiny snakes draped around our necks. Yes, even Deborah! Andrew’s now seriously thinking about getting one as a pet. I’m not joking. If he could, he’d probably try to bring a croc home too.
End of the day quote: Andrew to Morgane: “You’re a fish.” In a very dry manor the dessert wouldn't be able to keep up. This little forgetfulness of Morgane became the unofficial theme for the rest of the road trip.
Day 19 - Darwin to Timber Creek
Distance so far: 6396 km
Wildlife spotted: kangaroos
We’re on the road again, heading west this time! Today’s main event? Driving. Lots and lots of driving. We take turns behind the wheel, swapping shifts like pros.
Meanwhile, the girls are sharpening their detective skills with a Belgian true crime podcast called De Volksjury. You can almost hear them piecing together clues in their heads. Andrew, on the other hand, is busy perfecting his singing; imagine some very enthusiastic fisherman charades. It’s a wild mix of mystery and musical madness in the van.
Day 20 - Timber Creek to Lake Argyle
Distance so far: 6621 km
Highlight: the invention of the ultimate healthy-ish snack
Crossing the border, you’d think we’d learn by now.
We did something dumb. Packed up all our groceries right before crossing the border. But honestly, what else could we do? Leaving a big city means stocking up before hitting tiny towns with barely any grocery options. Still, you’d think after doing this twice already on this trip, we’d remember the quarantine rules. Nope.
So, we had to scramble; grilling or eating all our fresh fruits and veggies before the quarantine folks swooped in, just to avoid losing too much food. The silver lining? We discovered our new favorite snack: caramelised apples. Thank you, quarantine.
Anyway, we made it through, losing only our honey and one poor onion in the process, and finally rolled into Western Australia. Our first stop? Just a quick turn after the border to a lake where, apparently, 30,000 freshies live (yep, I had to check that too). Andrew went for a dip to check on his guardian angel, while the rest of us hung back on land, hoping for some action. Spoiler alert: nothing happened.
Camping options near the lake? Slim to none. We ended up at a last-resort free camp, right next to the highway. Seriously, “along the way” means literally next to roaring traffic.
Pulling into the spot, we noticed a red glow on the horizon and smoke curling through the trees. If you pictured a bushfire, congrats you hit the jackpot. Turns out, they were controlled burns way off in the distance. Still, Deborah wasn’t taking any chances, she moved her tent from the grass to the concrete. Nothing happened, thankfully, but the vibe was definitely intense.
Day 21 - Lake Argyle to Warmun Roadhouse
Distance so far: 6887 km
Highlight: Monopoly truce
With the time difference, we were all up way earlier than we’d hoped. Or maybe it was the trucks playing percussion all night long. Let’s just say it wasn’t our best camping spot. Wind howling, noise everywhere, and cold enough to make you question life. Deborah even moved her tent in the middle of the night, trying to find some shelter from the wind, but honestly? Didn’t help much.
Then something, no idea what, clocked me on my left side, leaving me pretty immobile. So yeah, both Deborah and I were totally out of commission. Definitely a day-off kind of situation.
We showed up early at the next campground, only a short 3-hour drive away. We had big plans for the next morning; early at dawn, a visit to the Bungle Bungles (aka Purnululu National Park) in a pretty epic way.
Since Darwin, Andrew caught the volleyball bug and even brought along his own ball. While the girls opted for reading and tanning, Andrew was all about the volleyball. Luckily, our former trainer Deborah still remembers a few exercises to keep him busy for a while.
After some refreshing pool dips, pages turned, and balls tossed in the air, it was time for the big guns: Monopoly. Anyone who’s played Monopoly with Andrew knows exactly how this goes. Spoiler: Monopoly is now carefully tucked away; far, far away.
We called it an early night, rested up, and got ready for the big day ahead.
At the end of the day, it’s not about perfect plans or Instagram-worthy moments. It’s about the messy, unpredictable, sometimes frustrating chaos that makes this trip unforgettable. The games we played, the wildlife we reluctantly met, the food we rushed through before quarantine, and even the burnt-out nerves. All of it is part of our story.
We’re tired, a little battered, but still curious and ready for whatever the road throws at us next. Because at the heart of it, this adventure is about sticking together, finding joy in the little things, and just keeping on rolling.
written by Morgane Roggeman. Grammatically reviewed. My English isn't perfect.
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